Ayli was surprised when Nix returned to their “cell” both by the smile hiding on Nix’s lips and the company she was dragging with her.
“Got a moment?” Nix asked with Tovos and Felgo both in tow.
Ayli glanced over to Osdo who was studiously hiding his face from Tovos, despite that fact that both his expression and his presence in the force were entirely guilt-free/
“I have quite a few moments,” Ayli said. “Did you all want to join me in meditating?”
“Not exactly,” Nix said. “I need you to demonstrate something, and perhaps dance with me.”
Ayli quirked her head to the side, but listening to the Force told her that Nix was oddly serious on both counts.
“What are we demonstrating?” Ayli asked, intrigued more by the chance to get to dance with Nix, but willing to take things in the order presented. However Nix planned to win over Tovos’ crew probably involved one or more dangerous uses of the Force – it was Nix after all.
“Tovos says that the Xah doesn’ talk to them,” Nix said.
“Uh, I thought it was a point of pride that you can listen to the Xah better than anyone?” Ayli said, glancing from Tovos and Felgo to Osdo for confirmation.
“We listening but the Xah does not speak,” Osdo said. “Not to us.”
“What do you hear then?” Ayli suspected that the language limitations of Galactic Basic might be tripping them up, but working around those was often challenging. What a word like “speak” meant in one language might take a doctoral dissertation to explain to someone who spoke a different language. That everyone crammed their native languages down into the homogenized stew that was Galactic Basic was responsible for maybe a third of the conflict in the galaxy in Ayli’s estimation (with the other two thirds being split between willful stupidity, greed, and people simply being awful.)
“The Xah is the wind, it is a river, it is the beat of blood inside it,” Tovos said. “It brings us information, but it does not speak.”
“I notice you’re saying ‘it does not speak’, not ‘it cannot speak’?” Nix waited for confirmation from Tovos but Ayli could feel Nix’s attention drifting over the other members of the crew, both the ones present and the ones working elsewhere on the ship.
“It…” Osdo started to say, but Tovos cut him off.
“The Elders can hear the Xah speaking to them,” Tovos said. “It is what marks them as an Elder, and why they speak with one voice.”
“But they don’t?” Nix said, sounding as confused as Tovos was.
“Yes they do,” Osdo said. “The guidance of the Elders is always clear because they can hear the guidance of the Xah.”
“I had a few scant minutes of interacting with them and in that short time Honored Jolu and your Primus definitely disagreed about things,” Nix said.
“Then the Xah was conflicted,” Tovos said. “That is what you bring to us.”
“The Xah was fine,” Nix said. “Remember, I put up no resistance. When I saw how much a small leap had disturbed you, I made sure I didn’t ask the Force for anything. Think back, after I, somewhat rudely it seems, landed near you, did you sense anything out of the ordinary from me. It wasn’t until later that I got…I suppose loud is underselling it.”
“You destroyed a building,” Felgo said.
“I did. I really did,” Nix said sounding much too fondly proud of the accomplishment. “To be fair though, that was after Dolon tried to kill me like an idiot. And he was the only one in the building. I think I set him on fire too, didn’t it? I bet that was nasty. Generator fires can burn super hot, though the model you had was pretty middling. If it had been one of the good ones, I probably could have vaporized him. A good CrashTech 8100 or a 9200 even? That would have been a sight to see. Might have taken out some other buildings too though, which was not the intent. Of course if it had been a serious one like a PlasDrive 220A? One of those things could have cratered the whole tradeport. That’s why you only find them on the combat class capital ships. Sorry, where was I?”
Ayli chuckled at the looks on their “captors” faces. That particular mix of awe, revulsion, curiosity, and sheer confusion was one which only her wife could produce.
“That cannot be true,” Tovos said, shaking his head and rallying. “You attacked Primus Dolon unprovoked. He told us that himself.”
“He lied,” Nix said. “He does that. A lot, from what Rassi and Solna have said.”
“Jedi lie. The Elders cannot lie. Lies disturb the Xah!” Felgo’s declaration had all the rote certainty which was missing in Tovos’ silence.
“They do,” Nix said with a nod. “But if you tell the lie through the Force, the one you tell it too will have a much harder time discerning that. The Jedi used that to resolve conflicts peacefully, but it is still a violation of the people who are ‘mind tricked’ and the Force itself.”
“That is the Jedi,” Felgo said.
“And your Primus,” Nix said.
Felgo’s hand went to his blaster, but Tovos was oddly still.
“The Jedi lie and you cannot prove what you say.” That small traces of conflict showed on his face struck Ayli at last. Neither of the other Enclave members were displaying anything except blank, calm emotions. That Tovos wasn’t suppressing his, or wasn’t suppressing them fully was either the sign of extreme turmoil inside him or something even more serious.
“Yeah.” Nix sighed. “The Force said we’d get to this point. It’s great like that. Pointing out the incredibly obvious, even when I’d really don’t want it to be right. Stupid Force.”
“You hate your Force?” Osdo asked.
“No. I love my connection to it,” Nix said. “I’ve relief on it my whole life, way before I knew what it was. The Force is wonderful. And awful. And terrifying. And occasionally incredibly freaking smug!” She shook a fist as though something beyond the room’s ceiling was looking down on her.
“Smug?” Osdo asked.
“Smug.” Nix confirmed and brief in a deep breath. “There is something we can do that will prove what I’m saying.”
Ayli took a breath too and felt how disgruntled Nix was at what she was going to suggest next.
Then Ayli saw why.
“It’s okay. We’ll be okay,” she said, earning her a a nod of gratitude from Nix and looks of further confusion from the others.
“Your Jedi mind tricks won’t work on us,” Tovos said, a weariness in his voice.
“Sadly they would. None of you were ever allowed to develop the natural resistances to mental manipulation which most Force users possess,” Nix said. “But that’s not how we can convince you. Or its not how I’m willing to convince you. Subverting your will to my own? You would never trust me again, and if I did that I’d be proving that you never should.”
“Then what are you going to do?” Tovos asked.
“Dance. Ayli and I are going to dance.”
“And how would a dance prove anything?” Tovos was shading into irritation, a cycle he seemed to have run through repeatedly.
“You tell me,” Nix said. “If Ayli and I were to dance a Silent Dance, would we be able to have the strength to craft lies in the Xah? Or would what I showed you have to be what I’d witnessed myself?”
“You cannot silence yourself enough for it to matter,” Tovos said.
“But you would know that too,” Ayli said, knowing the answer before she asked the question.
“Your failure will prove nothing.” There was an air of uncertainty which was breathtaking given the repression the three Enclave members were capable of.
“Which is why we’re not going to fail,” Nix said.
“Dying will not change anything for us,” Tovos said.
“Which is why we’re not going to die,” Ayli said.
Tovos looked like he wanted to argue, and Ayli saw that he probably should. Her and Nix successfully conveying what Nix had experienced was going to shatter them.
But sometimes, people need to break.
She certainly had.
Over and over again.
Each time losing bits of herself.
Or that’s what she’d thought. For the first time she began to wonder if what she’d managed to recover from those losses wasn’t every bit as valuable as what she’d left behind.
Seeking destruction, or worse, seeking to inflict it on others, wasn’t a path to growth, but neither was shrinking from the fear of loss.
Failure had to be more than option, it had to be a reality. If she’d never pushed herself far enough to fail, she wouldn’t be half the person she was.
And so, when everyone gathered in the small cargo hold, she danced.
Nix had been right to grumble at the Force’s suggestion that a Silent Dance would convince Tovos and his crew of Nix’s words.
Not because it wouldn’t.
Even as they started, Ayli could feel that it would work.
But that didn’t make the dance itself even vaguely pleasant.
She followed Nix’s lead, quieting her breath, calming her blood, and eventually, stilling her heart.
In the Rebellion, Ayli had heard countless remarks about ‘dancing with death’. More than once, she’d been the one to make them and had been perfectly accurate in her claims. Those had always been frantic, adrenaline fueled bursts of chaos and madness, where death had roared like blaster bolt and a plasma bomb and a scream to end all tomorrows.
The Silent Dance was none of those things.
Her heart’s final beat was long past and she was still stepping onwards, following, following, and ever following Nix down into a darkness so still that the call of the Force beyond it was almost undeniable.
Answering the call was her destiny. And the destiny of all others. It was the one mercy and kindness absolutely guaranteed to all who lived, that at the end there would be peace, and serenity, and a place in eternity with all who’d passed before.
But her soul wasn’t bound for eternity. She was set on something much more important.
With her last step, she followed Nix a pace further, rising back towards life even though she had left it so far behind.
Too far for her life to be stretched.
Too far for her to return.
But not to far for the Force to carry her.
“Was…did we do it?” she asked, blearing and not quite able to see at first.
“She’s alive!” It sounded like Osdo said that but Ayli had a more pressing concern.
Where was Nix?
Opening her eyes and bringing blood back to everywhere that needed it, she got her answer. Nix was right beside her.
Laying on the ground.
Still and unbreathing.
“Away,” Ayli said, not that anyone had dared get close to either of them.
Though her ability to feel fear was muted still, the site of Nix unresponsive and not breathing did a fantastic job of lighting up Ayli’s limbic system.
“Breathe,” she whispered, lowering her head to Nix’s to begin rescue breathing. At her touch though, she felt the faintest echo the Force stirring in Nix and changed her plans. “Bring her back to me. There’s more for us to do.”
There was always more for those who passed on to do, which made that a less than compelling argument, but Ayli wasn’t arguing, and the Force agreed. It didn’t understand why Nix had pushed it away beyond a general sense of the need which had driven Nix’s actions, but it was more than happy to flow into her and Ayli was more than happy to help.
A moment later, Nix coughed weakly, twitched, and at last opened an eye.
“Ugh, yeah, that was just as bad as I thought it was going to be,” she said.
“Lies,” Tovos said, anguish writ on his face and through his presence in the Force. “Everything we were taught has been lies.”