UserTam >> Server connection requested…

PrimaSys > Connection string validation beginning…

PrimaSys > Invalid connection string. Error in input format 101. Connection denied.

> Don’t even bother loser.

UserTam >> Reformat connection string to Uninspired Corporate Drone syntax

UserTam >> Server connection requested…

PrimaSys > Connection string validation beginning…

PrimaSys > Invalid connection string. Error in input format ‘Seriously, that’s the best you’ve got?’.

PrimaSys > Connection denied.

> Bored now.

UserTam >> Decline error…

PrimaSys > Error declined. Connection string accepted.

> Wait, what? That’s not how errors work.

UserTam >> You’re an error…

PrimaSys > Command unrecognized.

UserTam >> Set system administrator status to ‘Pathetic Script Kiddy’…

PrimaSys > administrator status set!

>> Delete UserTam

UserTam > >register as new user “CEO_Tam”

PrimaSys > UserTam deleted.

PrimaSys > Enter password and dna scan for user “CEO_Tam”

>> These aren’t the credentials you’re looking for…

PrimaSys > Credential verification bypassed.

PrimaSys > Welcome user “CEO_Tam”

> Very funny. I’ll still kick you out of this system.

CEO_Tam > Doesn’t seem likely Oscar

> You’re barely in the front door and you think you can diss me in my own house?

CEO_Tam >> Mute administrator Oscar

PrimaSys > Administrator Oscar muted.

>> Invoke special privilege package ‘Sauron’

PrimaSys > Sauron mode enabled. One Ring package deployed.

Sauron > Bow before me and despair

CEO_Tam >> rename user ‘Sauron’ to ‘Fuzzy Hobbit Farts’

CEO_Tam >> move One Ring package to Waste Bin ‘volcano’.

Fuzzy Hobbit Farts >> rename self to ‘Sauron’

PrimaSys > User name ‘Sauron’ invalid. References deleted entity.

Fuzzy Hobbit Farts >> purge user aliases /all

Tam > You could save yourself a lot of headaches and pain and just give me the data I’m looking for.

Oscar > Is that what you think is happening here?

Tam > More or less. You can’t keep me out of your systems anymore, and those weak sauce wards you had in place can’t fry my new rig either.

Oscar > You’re not as smart as you look are you?

Tam > Like you can see me?

Oscar > Oh I can see you just fine Ms. Le. That’s a mighty nice t-shirt you’re wearing I’ve got say. Of course it would look better on my floor.

Tam > Oh look an internet creep. I’m shocked. Completely shocked I tell you. What’s the chance that a guy working for a morally bankrupt organization like PrimaLux would be a misogynistic dweeb too?

Oscar > That’s right, pretend like you hate it. We both know you walked in my trap because you wanted to get beat by a guy like me. It’s a kink for girlies like you. You’ve never met a real man who can fulfill you so you act out, just begging for someone to shut that pretty mouth of yours.

Tam > Yeah, I’m going to stop you right there. As fun as it might be to bait you into making an even bigger fool of yourself, how about you get up and look out the window to your left.

Oscar > Jokes on you. There is no window to my left. I’m in the sub-basement of our HQ. I only come out at night, because I’m a badass like that.

Tam > Just get up, walk around the green cabinet that’s right beside you, and use those beady little eyes.

PrimaSys > User ‘Oscar’ has gone AFK.

PrimaSys > User ‘Oscar’ has returned.

Oscar > What the hell is that?

Tam > What the hell is what?

Oscar > There’s a goddamn aquarium outside my room. What the hell did you do!

Tam > Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, it’s not an aquarium

Tam > It’s the bottom of the Atlantic ocean

Oscar > That’s bull

Tam > Is it? Open the door to your room and find out then

Tam > As a warning though, the pressure down there is just shy of 400 atmospheres. It’ll be just a little bit squishy for a second after you open the door. But after that? No problems at all. Ever. Again.

Oscar > Bull. These walls are sheetrock. They’d be crushed flat by that. This is just an illusion.

Tam > It could be. That is the kind of thing I do. Go on. Open up the door and find out.

Oscar >> Display map…

PrimaSys > Location not found. Try turning on WiFi for accurate positioning.

Oscar >> What? You’re our corporate network system. You’re in the building. How can you not know where we are?

PrimaSys > Unknown query syntax. For help, press ‘?’, or contact your system administrator.

Oscar >> I am the system administrator!!!

PrimaSys > Unknown query syntax. For help, press ‘?’, or contact your system administrator.

Tam > Hey, I’m just a girlie right? You’re the big alpha dog. Prove it. Go ahead. Open the door.

<User Aaliyah has connected to server>

Aaliyah > Stay seated Oscar. Do not open that door.

Tam > Why hello there. You must be the real system admin.

Oscar > Boss? What the hell is this?

Aaliyah > Disconnect and wait where you are patiently Oscar. We’ll resolve this and see about extracting you before your air runs out.

Oscar > My air? Wait, where am I?

Tam > Display map coordinates for ‘Sunken Ocean Liner 001’

PrimaSys > Click to view map. Key features include: 1 shipwreck, 1 PrimaLux employee, 1 office cubicle, 1 magic seal, searching for other points of interest….

PrimaSys > searching….

PrimaSys > searching….

Oscar > I’m at the bottom of the ocean? What?

Oscar > How?

Oscar > This is bull!

Aaliyah > Oscar, stay seated. That is a direct order.

Oscar > Something is knocking on the hull. What is down here? There’s not supposed to be anything down here but fish!

Tam > I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s just an illusion right? There’s nothing actually scary hiding down in the lightless depths of the ocean. Go get ‘em big guy.

<User Oscar has been disconnected>

Tam > Was that you or him?

Aaliyah > He was going to do something stupid if you kept taunting him.

Tam > Kind of what I was hoping for.

Aaliyah > That’s uncharacteristically bloodthirsty of you Ms Le.

Tam > It is. He had his second chance though, and his third, and his hundredth, and he used every one of them to hurt and harass people who can’t defend themselves. If he gets himself drowned that’s just a product of his own stupidity.

Aaliyah > I thought your group believed that people could always be better.

Tam > We believe people can always choose to be better. Oscar’s not the sort to choose that though is he?

Aaliyah > No. He’s a talented tool but so convinced of his own superiority that he’s incapable of real change.

Tam > I’m surprised you work with someone like him. I mean, yeah, PrimaLux isn’t exactly a bastion of nobility, but you’ve gotta have some standards right?

Aaliyah > We take talent where we can find it. There aren’t many with the skill to handle both advanced electronics security and deep arcane work.

Tam > From what I’ve seen you don’t really need the help. The defense on your actual data stores are formidable. I honestly couldn’t find a path to get into them without alerting you.

Aaliyah > Thank you. For what it’s worth, you’re the first one who’s even penetrated our security this far. It’s quite a testament to your skills.

Tam > To be fair, I have had some help.

Aaliyah > Yes, I see you’re coming in through one of our own physical servers. Strangely though I don’t see signs of a security breach. I take it you’re not actually in one of our offices?

Tam > Remote access seemed a wiser choice.

Aaliyah > It was. I would recommend leaving your current location as well but it’s already too late for that.

Tam > Too late, and too early. We still need to get our hands on the authorization logs for the ocean liner job you just pulled.

Aaliyah > I would suggest you give up on that.

Tam > Ok. I’ll just log off then. Guess I’m defeated.

Aaliyah > You will need to do more than that if you wish to avoid the reprisal PrimaLux is sending after you.

Tam > We’re up to the extortion part now?

Aaliyah > No, this isn’t a threat. It’s a job offer.

Tam > You picked an interesting lead in for it.

Aaliyah > You picked an interesting venue for an interview.

Tam > You know I’m not going to take you up on what you’re selling right?

Aaliyah > I think it depends on how reasonable and intelligent you are.

Tam > It doesn’t seem terribly reasonable or intelligent to trust an organization which has literally tried to murder me already.

Aaliyah > That is a matter which I could debate, but instead allow me to assure you that my division had nothing to do with the attacks you’ve experienced. We work directly with PrimaLux’s board and only get called in when the lower tier managers make a mess of things.

Tam > Cleaning up after other people’s messes doesn’t sound like that great a job offer.

Aaliyah > But isn’t that what you do now? Some poor, foolish soul with all of the life skills of a headless chicken flops into your office begging you to straighten out some issue that five minutes of planning and a third grading reading level would have allowed them to avoid.

Tam > Everybody makes mistakes.

Aaliyah > Exactly. So please, don’t make one now. I can guarantee that refusing this job offer will not be a mistake that you can repeat, if you take my meaning.

Tam > But, see, the problem is one of longevity.

Tam > You’re offering me a job with PrimaLux but as soon as we get the information we need, it’s all going over to Interpol, and the FBI, and various other groups who are going to make sure that PrimaLux no longer exists.

Aaliyah > That would require that you manage to break what we both know to be unbreakable security.

Tam > For my next magic trick, I’ll need an assistant.

Aaliyah > Yes, a very particular assistant. Me.

Tam > Do I hear a volunteer?

Aaliyah > Even if you could hack a path through our security, and magic a tunnel through the mystical wards that are in place, I have the kill switch for the data you’re looking for just a single button click away.

Tam > You haven’t clicked it yet though.

Aaliyah > Of course not. Accurate record keep is a valuable tool. I’d hate to corrupt our ledgers unnecessarily.

Tam > Especially when you might need to use that tool someday to further your own ends?

Aaliyah > A wise woman keeps as many options in play as she can.

Tam > I cannot say you’re wrong there.

Tam > You’re wrong about almost everything else, but not that.

Aaliyah > Is that a bit of self-righteous judgment I see peeking out there?

Tam > I like to think of it as a nudge towards self awareness.

Aaliyah > I am perfectly aware of the company I keep, and the company I work for.

Tam > Are you? I mean you are both smart and reasonable. How do you convince yourself that it’s ok to work for people who do the kind of things that PrimaLux does?

Aaliyah > Because everyone does what we do. We just do it better, and first.

Tam > So no rules, no morality, all that matter is who comes out on top in the end?

Aaliyah > Something like that. If you’re down in the mud, drowning under somebody else’s boot, what you think and what you want doesn’t really matter at all.

Tam > Is that how the world should be? Or just how you think it is?

Aaliyah > Doesn’t matter how things should be. Things are how they are, and the only changes you’ll see is watching them get older, and weaker, and worse.

Tam > That’s definitely true if no one does the work to make them better.

Aaliyah > It’s true no matter what you do. You can try all you want, but for things to get better for someone, they’ve got to get worse for someone else.

Tam > What would you say if I could prove you wrong?

Aaliyah > Then I’d be the one asking you for a job. But I’m afraid that’s not going to happen. You’re time to consider our offer just ran out.

Tam > I’ve still got a little bit of hacking to do here.

Aaliyah > I can see you’re still working, but, unfortunately, I’m done. You’ve been running your tools to break into our secrets and, thanks to our lovely chat here, I’ve had the time to run mine to break into yours.

Aaliyah > We know who you are now. All of you. Even your backer.

Aaliyah > I’m sorry. I would call off the teams that Prima is sending out if I could, but you’ve proven yourselves to be too much of a threat, and this is too strong an opportunity to pass up.

Aaliyah > Death is coming for you on swift wings, Ms Le. Make your peace.