“It worked!”

“Do I detect a note of surprise there my dear Helgon?”

“More than just a note! You yourself said our odds of success were only ‘fair’ at best.”

“And I stand by that appraisal.”

“Yes, we might have overdone it on the Apocalypse summoning didn’t we?”

“Shall I tell you a secret Helgon?”

“I usually enjoy learning secrets, though at this juncture I’m more impressed that we have any left to keep.”

“Oh a few still remain. Just unimportant little things though.”

“Well I should still like to hear this one, given that it occurs to you in what everyone will assume is our moment of triumph.”

“That will be the assumption, though in fact that moment remains lifetimes distant still.”

“It cheers me to hear you speak of lifetimes. I was afraid we would have far less time to enjoy our newly exalted states.”

“I know. And you will. Not so many perhaps as you might like I would venture to guess, but I believe you’ll find plenty of quiet days to pursue your dreams.”

“Dyrena, you must know, my dreams, they are all of…”

“The Beast is small.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The Beast we summoned. The End of All Things. It is small.”

“I confess I am not understanding you, and I feel I often do. Leaving aside the measurements we’ve taken, there is the matter of its demonstrated might. At a minimum, the Beast lies at or beyond the outer edges for our calculations. In what manner is it ‘small’.”

“Our calculations were based on assumptions about universal cosmic laws. Ones which we presumed must apply elsewhere given that reality as we know it requires their precise structure. We didn’t calculate for alternate cosmic laws because we had no means of winnowing down a field of multiple infinities.”

“But you did. No, wait. You didn’t perform the calculations for all possible laws. You built a cosmos with different laws than our own?”

“Only a very tiny and very brief one. I had to validate the hypothesis that different laws were possible.”

“And you discovered that they were. Why keep that a secret though? We survived this Beast through good fortune and a clever scheme by Night. If we’d known this was as good a result as we might have achieved the others might have been persuaded to abandon this plan.”

“That is why. Our plan needed to go forward. It was the one chance to break the forbidden rituals.”

“That’s not something we can ever allow the others to become aware of. They would destroy you almost immediately if they learned you’d led us so close to disaster that we wound up reliant on the last remaining god.”

“Oh, but that’s something they must discover, and, though I know this is cruel, you must be the one to tell them.”

– Helgon attempting to celebrate the Neoterics’ success in the Sunfall while Dyrena toppled another domino in the plans for her own destruction.

Sasarai hadn’t gone anywhere it turned out. Which wasn’t terrible surprising. He had become a god after all, and where else would one expect to find a god than in a temple?

“You seem convinced that he’s still here, but when you burned up, he took the brunt of that blast,” Theia said, searching around inside the temple with me. “Night was able to save me, because, well darkness and light have that kind of relationship. Sasarai didn’t have that to fall back on though. All he had was that divine fragment you’d given him.”

“Believe it or not than was part of the plan too,” I said.

And what part was that? Diyas asked. 

She was lingering around to inspect the work she’d done on my new body I think. It had been quite a while since there’d been any Sentinels in the world, and I would guess relatively few of them chose to adopt a hybrid Dragon-Sylvan form like the one that felt both convenient and comfortable to me.

“With you as his only fallback, I presumed he’d try to make use of your healing domain if  anything happened to him,” I said. “Granted I’d been expecting it to be one of the other Neoterics that was ‘going to happen to him’ but this works too.”

And you would have seen him healed so that he could suffer further? Diyas asked, sounding intrigued at than idea rather than disapproving.

“If that was how it worked out, I wouldn’t have shed any tears, but your Blessed was able to give and deny access to your domain, which made it the safest one by far to let fall in Sasarai’s hands.”

“Even with the possibility that he might use it to make himself immortal?” Theia asked, continuing to search for our missing Neoteric.

She didn’t need to, I’d already found him, but I was enjoying our conversation so I didn’t interrupt her.

“He was already powerful enough that it was going to take impossible levels of effort to kill him,” I said. “Adding a bit of self-healing to that wasn’t going to make much difference.”

“But he did die, right? I can’t smell any of that gross Neoteric magic left here anymore.”

I gave the air a sniff. My sense of smell, especially in a hybrid form, wasn’t even vaguely close to Theia’s and even my full divine senses probably weren’t up to snuff in comparison to her. As far as I could tell though, she was right. There wasn’t any of the twisted, narcissistic Neoteric magic present at all.

“Nope. He’s not dead. He’d right here in fact,” I said and gestured to the small spot on the ground I was kneeling beside.

“There? But there’s nothing there? Just a worm,” Theia said.

I gave her a moment.

Theia’s a quick girl.

I like that about her.

And her ears.

What? The world wasn’t ending anymore, I was allowed to acknowledge how cute she was.

“Oh. Uh. Hold on…” she said, eyes going wide as she saw the slimy little critter wriggling blindly in the dirt.

“This wasn’t part of the plan, but I feel it does show why we should have faith,” I said, feeling smug.

Does it now? Draconia asked, an echoing smugness in her voice.

“So how long did you spend imagining this?” I asked her.

Seeing Sasarai brought low? Since about five minutes after he captured me. This particular fate however? Credit for that must go to Diyas.

It was a shared project, Diyas said. My domains reknit the physical form, but it was several of us who collaborated on ensuring he was gifted with the godhood he’s always coveted.

“Godhood? I mean, but….what? How? WHY?” Theia asked, her claws flexing in and out of her fingertips.

“He was too powerful to destroy. Talking with Little showed me that. Heck, meeting you showed it to me too. Night is powerful enough to hide our whole world from a Beast that destroyed the gods, and yet she’s hasn’t dealt with Sasarai or any of the other Neoterics. Not directly at least.”

“Night’s not usually a direct sort of person,” Theia said, “but I see where you’re coming from. You needed a trick.”

“More than a trick. I needed to give him something he wanted. I thought that would be access to Diyas’ healing domain, but they did so much more with it.”

Yes, he wanted godhood and with the return of all the grace his silly shrub was holding there was plenty available to add to the power he already possessed, Draconia said. Not to mention so many vacant positions he could fill.

“So what is his domain?” Theia asked.

“Worms. Mindless, common, worms.”

So many cycles of the world have been broken, Diyas said. Life cannot sustain itself outside the few havens the Neoterics erected. The worms will play a role in rejuvenating the soil so it can bear life once more.

“So we’re going to let him rebuild the world? Wasn’t that his plan in the first place?” Theia asked.

It was, which was made it so easy to lure him into his current role, Draconia asked.

“And how does he feel about it? Is he sitting in the heavens somewhere cackling about all this or is be being petty about getting stuck with a minor role like this?” Theia pointed at the worm which was futilely trying to dig through the stone it was laying on.

“He’s not in the heavens,” I said. “He’s right here.”

“Yeah, I know the gods are present everywhere their domains are. I’m talking about the part of him that remembers being an Neoteric Lord.”

“Yeah, so am I,” I said and gestured at the worm again. “That’s him. That’s all of him. A little god, wiggling away in the dirt.”

“No. Really? So if I step on him?” she asked.

Then he’d be the god of crushed worms as well, Diyas said. Probably best not expand his domains even that far.

“Would that make him more dangerous?” I asked, wondering what sort of calamity we were leaving for future generations to deal with.

Not especially, Draconia said. There might be someone more worthy of that domain though.

“So what’s he scheming up as a worm?” Theia asked, her gaze hard locked onto the hapless god at our feet.

He is his domain, Umbrielle said. Right now he’s scheming how to dig and find nourishment. Tomorrow he will be scheming how to dig and find nourishment. The day after that, the month after that, and all the years after than he will be eating dirt, forever in search of food to stave off starvation.

“And he’s not going to grow to be some building sized monster, right?” I felt it was a valid question given how much of a problem the Holy Tree had become.

That would be the domain of Giants, and it has been newly claimed by its first Blessed in this age, Umbrielle said.

“I thought you gods were supposed to be conceptual entities only? That the whole point of us Blessed was that we could manifest your powers in the material world,” Theia asked, a note of suspicion in her voice.

You are, Umbrielle said, and that is how it was. Perhaps one day we will return to the divine realms, but we won’t return unchanged, we can’t. We are what we’ve become here. 

Yes. What we were before? Even if we retrieved all our missing pieces, they wouldn’t fit back together as they once did, Draconia said. That doesn’t make us lesser. If anything, knowing this world as we do now, knowing you, who we were always so distant from, has made us more than we were.

“And Sasarai is going to get to enjoy that too?” I asked, unsure how I was feeling about his fate after all.

He will enjoy it or suffer it to the full capacity of a common worm, Umbrielle said.

Well, for now at least, Draconia said. He is something of an experiment after all.

“An experiment?” Theia asked, her voice as dubious as mine would have been.

The chance that we can regain all of our missing pieces is nonexistent, Umbrielle said.

The End of All Things destroyed so much of what we were, Draconia said with an unexpected tone of satisfaction in her voice.

What you’ve shown us is that among the things we’ve lost are the restrictions our earlier natures imposed on us, Umbrielle said.

The gods had been speaking amongst themselves it seemed, and while I was still fairly sure the broad strokes of what had happened hadn’t been either of their schemes, that didn’t mean they weren’t capable scheming on their own.

“He’s a new sort of god isn’t he?” I asked. “I can sense the divinity in him, but he’s bound in a material form.”

Exactly so, Draconia said. We cannot carry the weight of our domains alone anymore. We must shoulder the burden with you, and so with you is where we wish to be. A part of this world which we fell for, and which has brought us to a new life once more.

“I’m supposed to be fearless. This was my plan after all. So why am I here talking to no one but myself?”

“Well if I start answer myself will that be a good sign or a bad one?”

“I’m not sure. I can feel them dying. The deathless gods. Our shepherds and our guardians. Falling one by one whether they can fight the beast we summoned or not. So much power being lost, so much being gained.”

“The others must be reveling in this.”

“Or maybe they’re terrified too. The beast we summoned is stronger than I’d ever led them to believe it would be. And the gods are losing so quickly.”

“Is it too late? My message to Night should have already reached her. I know she’ll act on it, and I know she’ll succeed, but could I still back out?”

“Pass away with the world? Take the painless path out? Leave behind the people you promised to save? No. It’s not too late for that. Not yet.”

“Would that be preferable to sharing a world with the monsters who discovered the forbidden rituals once again?”

“I’ve given them so much power. Terrified? No, they’re drunk on their new found divinities. Each one scrambling to claim their share of the lost fragments which are falling from the heavens above.”

“Well, perhaps not all of them. Helgon has his part to play and I’m sure he’s hard at work, just as he always is. I’ll have to see when he notices the surfeit of grace overwhelming his senses and tease him about that later.”

“…”

“It is so tempting to call out for forgiveness, but who is there to offer it? And in what world could I ask for it? Not this one certainly.”

“Oh ‘but what choice did I have’ and ‘if not this time the rituals where discovered then when’ and ‘how else can armageddon itself be unmade’? I have such pretty excuses, such unassailable reasons for my conduct, and yet…”

“And yet, I did this. I broke this world. I have emptied the oceans and filled them with the blood of the innocent and the tears of the divine. And there will be no reckoning called against me.”

“Except for the one I call against myself.”

“It’s going to take the others so long to consolidate their power. And longer still to feel secure enough in their new holdings and their understanding of the new world.”

“Is it fair that they will destroy me first of all? Not for them certainly.”

“I’ll have to wait for that distant day of reckoning though for my real work to begin.”

– Dyrena the First Neoteric Lord, alone and indulging in the remorse she could never again let herself feel as the Sun fell.

I could have landed anywhere. The world was changing beneath me and there was so much of it to see, and so many who would want to know what had become of me.

There was someone I needed to see though.

One of the world’s newest gods.

“I don’t know where she is. She went poof in a flash of light that blinded me. Me! Right through Night’s cloak!” Theia said. 

She was searching around the temple where I’d confronted Sasarai but looked up in time to see me descending.

I tried to call out a greeting to her but my vocal cords were brand new, and I wasn’t used to using them in their current configuration, so what I intended as a “Hi!” came out as a far deeper roar than I’d planned for.

“Jyla?” Theia said, confusion radiating from the tips of her ears to the end of her tail.

I held up a clawed hand in a gesture that I hoped would be reassuring and spent a moment clearing my new throat and making to do the “sound out words” thing.

“S-o-rry. St-ill getti-ng used to t-his,” I managed to say.

“What in the…? Where did you go? What happened?” She seemed to tiny but I knew that was a trick of perspective, given what I’d become.

“I…I don’t know where to start?” There were words that vaguely described what I’d been through, but conveying the true scale and sensation of it? If those existed I didn’t know them.

“How about with all this…” she gestured towards all of me. “When did you get this big?”

This was the girl who’d ridden on my back when I’d transformed into a dragon using Draconia’s power, which was probably how she’d recognized me in general. The problem was I was just a tiny bit bigger than I’d been then.

Like big enough that I could have encircled the Garden and still peered over the Thorn Wall.

Which was growing inconvenient.

So I did something about it.

I remember as a kid, trying to squeeze myself down into a tiny ball. I had goofy ideas like anyone else, but on reflection a desire to be overlooked was something of a running theme in my life, even when it was uncomfortable.

In this case, I wasn’t interested in hiding anymore, at least not from Theia, but squeezing myself down from the city-sized dragon which felt truly like my natural form into a more convenient person-sized body was a bit of a challenge.

I’d been thinking to return to the Sylvan size and shape that I’d known for years, but, well, I didn’t want to.

It wasn’t right.

The closest I felt like going towards it, the form that felt the closest to ‘also right’ was a bit taller with a similar geometry to what I’d had before, but with my lovely lovely scales still in place. 

Thank you Diyas! I said thinking that I was still drawing on her domain.

This is all you my lovely, the God of Healing responded before withdrawing. She left me with the impression that, while she was more than a little pleased with what I’d done, she did have a lot of others things going on which demanded her attention.

“I thought this might make it a bit easier for us to talk,” I said.

Or we could have spoke like this, Theia said with a roll of her eyes.

Because, right, we both still have divine bonds.

Though mine were…I wasn’t sure.

They’re yours now, and yours alone. You don’t need to borrow them from me anymore, Draconia said. Still close to me. Still a part of me, even if she didn’t have to be.

“What does that mean?” Theia asked, tilting her head to inspect me from a different angle. “What are you now?”

The short answer is whatever she wants to be, Draconia said.

In the past we would have called her a Sentinel, one of Draconia’s personal retinue, Umbrielle said.

“Oh. Like Zeph is with Sola?” Theia asked.

The same sort of association, but with different duties and responsibilities, Draconia said. That title is not one Jyla needs to claim however. I am not what I was, and she has the chance to become something entirely new.

“I feel like I’m already something entirely new,” I said. I felt light and strong and connected. So very connected. It was like the whole world was still pulsing through me. “Though becoming your Sentinel doesn’t sound bad either.”

Let’s leave any decisions about that until you’ve had a chance to discover a bit more about what you are now. Draconia was trying to be reasonable but I thought I could feel her hope that I’d chose to stick with her.

And, yeah, obviously I was going to.

But she was right too. Rushing into decisions when I was very definitely still off kilter wasn’t a wise move.

“Does anyone know what’s happened with the other Neoterics?” I asked, that being a rather important question since I was pretty sure I could not handle another seven repositories like the Holy Tree spilling their power out into the world.

“We’ll have to check with Xalaria, she was coordinating the groups we had in place. It definitely felt like your idea worked on some of them though,” Theia said.

Out of curiosity, when did you discover the secret to the Neoteric’s vaults? Umbrielle asked.

“Well, there’s when I discovered it and when I realized I’d discovered it,” I said. “The answer to the first is a long time ago. It was how I got in the first time.”

“I thought you said there was a secret tunnel that led you into it?” Theia said.

“There was. But that was a spot that had literal divinity level protections cast on it. Anyone else could have stumbled on that tunnel, and probably did, over the years, but I don’t think they would have been able to see it. I’m wondering if even Sasarai would have been able to see it.”

“But it appeared for you because of Draconia?” Theia said, repeating my earlier words when I’d explained my plan.

“Right. From talking with Helgon and just thinking about how Dyrena had to have set the defenses up, the vaults had to allow the owners in or, being divine defenses, they would have been impossible for anyone to breech. Since I was pretty sure neither Sasarai nor any of the other Neoterics would have wanted to seal away their divine fragments so that they themselves couldn’t use them, there had to be an opening in the defenses for people with things inside the vaults to get in and claim them.”

And since you were one I would give my Blessing to, you held a claim on my fragment, Draconia said.

“Hence, it was just Sasarai’s vault. It was mine too.” I was delighted to hear that I was still close enough to Draconia’s domain that declarations like that still seemed to carry a bit of divine weight behind them.

“And once you worked that out, figuring out who we should send to each of the vaults was easy because Draconia’s the God of Guardians? But shouldn’t the vaults have hidden their contents from even divine influences?” Theia said.

“They did from every other god,” I said, unreasonably proud of Draconia in that moment, “but people forget that she’s not just the God of Guardians.”

Guardians and Treasures, Umbrielle said. You didn’t have to overcome the vaults, you knew which fragments were in each vault because they were all being hoarded as treasures by the Neoterics.

To be fair, it wasn’t until Jyla accepted my Blessing that I regained even that much awareness of the world at large. 

“And without Kalkit’s secret network, we won’t have been able to find people who could carry the Blessings of the gods in the different vaults, so any attempt to free them would have been doomed from the start.”

Not that things went off without a hitch, Draconia said. I know some of the vaults remain locked down, with noone claiming a Blessing from the trapped divinities within, and there’s the small matter of the world almost ending.

“I’m sorry, what?” Theia asked.

“I sort of underestimated how much power Sasarai had built up in the Holy Tree. When I claimed it, that all became mine. Very briefly.”

“That was when you vanished in the flash of light I take it?”

“Probably? I was terribly aware of the world for a while there. Fortunately a lot of gods were freed and there are a lot of new Blessed out there now.”

“So you gave the power to them?”

“Not exactly? They held me disperse it, but none of us could carry that much. Not without, well, did I die there?”

Technically no, but practically, sort of, Umbrielle said. Your mortal existence was fundamentally altered and partially erased. As you are still standing here however, and your soul is mostly intact, you are arguably still alive and never truly died.

“That sounds like you are splitting the finest of hairs there,” Theia said.

“I’m just happy with how that particular split turned out. Under any other circumstance, it should have gone the other way.”

Funny that, eh?

Thank you Dyrena, I said to absolutely no one at all.

I definitely didn’t hear a little chuckle in the silence of my mind. Just a stray bit of imagination I’m sure. Even though it sounded like a voice I’d never heard before.

“Now, before we go, I’d like to pay a quick visit to the newest god in the world. Have you seen where Sasarai got off to?”

“What do you think it will be like?”

“Terrible.”

“Not all the deaths. I mean the Transcendence.”

“I know. That’s what I was referring.”

“You think it will destroy us? But the others have been so careful with their calculations?”

“I don’t think anyone has run the sort of calculations that you have Helgon. I’m not sure any of them are capable of doing so.”

“You are.”

“No. I have my own techniques, but you’ve put together calculations that produce results which surprised even me.”

“I haven’t always been right.”

“No one ever is.”

“Why do you think the Transcendence will be terrible then? From what I can see we should remain in control of our faculties throughout the deification process, and past that we’ll each have the power to correct any issues that remain from our mortal lives.”

“That’s what will be terrible.”

“Please Dyrena, you know I am not as clever as you.”

“As Novices we are taught that the meaning of our lives comes from what we bring to world. It’s a good foundation, though not a complete one. The truth is that there is no inherent meaning to life. Meaning is something which is created and we are the ones, all of us, from Highest Accessor to the lowest of the Outcast. We all decide, from the choices available to us, what is important enough to spend our lives on.”

“And you think that with divine power at our fingertips and unlimited life there will be nothing we could choose to spend our time on which will matter to us in the end?”

“Not at all. An unlimited life could be turned towards fulfilling ends quite easily. We could undertake projects which would require centuries to come to fruition, plant seeds to nurture society until all stand on the divine stage with us, even should that take a thousand thousand years.”

“But we won’t.”

“We are the only ones who would even want to, and that won’t be our fates.”

– Helgon and Dyrena accepting a thing they know they can’t change.

I couldn’t change anything about the world, but everything was changing through me. Even with so many new Blessed, the power of the Holy Tree was difficult to channel.

When I’d said I was burning, that had been both literally and spiritually true. My body, my old one, hadn’t been capable of holding even the first drop of grace from the Holy Tree. Draconia had stepped in there, both to help channel the power and to grant my physical form a measure of divine resiliency. 

Unfortunately, as only a fragment of her former self, Draconia did have her limits, and bearing the full force of the Holy Tree was well beyond them.

My original plan, for what it’s worth, had been to claim the tree and then turn its power against itself. I’d really thought “burn the tree and choke Sasarai to death with its ashes” would come close to some form of justice for what he’d done.

It wasn’t an obviously terrible idea either. I’d had a lot of training in safely calling on the Holy Tree’s power. With some divine assistance on my side, drawing on that power without a specially prepared ritual should have been fine.

I’d just made one little mistake.

When I claimed the Holy Tree as mine, I didn’t need to ‘draw’ on its power like I had in my classes. The tree was mine, its power was mine, and there was no carefully constructed barrier protecting either of us from the other.

In the end though, with the help of Blessed and Gods, a lot of things I’d never expected happened. 

First, I survived. Which was delightful. Continued existence was a wonderful treat. It hadn’t been guaranteed, was unlikely and not required, but well worth the trouble.

Second, the Holy Tree did, in fact, burn. 

And then it exploded.

The ashes I’d hoped to cram down Sasarai’s throat until he died rose until they hit the edge of Night and swirled from there covering an area hundreds of miles in radius.

And from those ashes, life arose.

The Garden was the first to see the new life which carried the wisps of the Holy Tree’s stored grace. It wasn’t a single great tree but a forest of living, speaking trees infused with voices of those who’d been lost in the roots below the Holy Tree.

The thorns which ringed the Garden burned with the Holy Tree, collapsing in on themselves in some sections and remaining as jagged deterrents  in others. 

From the divine perspective I enjoyed during the process I could feel exactly how unhappy the Sylvans of the Garden were. There were people who buried their fear under so thick a blanket of hate that even godly eyes had a hard time seeing what was inside them.

But there were others too. 

And a surprising amount of them.

People who hadn’t been happy with how things were, or who had questions, or who were as curious as they were afraid.

More than a few of those found their connections to the freed divine fragments. 

There were going to be problems there. Long, difficult problems. Too many people had been snared in Sasarai’s cult for too long. Too many had invested too much of themselves into their unquestioning beliefs to ever be able to accept that their world was changing.

Would it have been simpler to direct some of the divine power that was flowing through me into smiting the ones who would only hate or cling to the worship of ‘the First Tender’?

No.

It would have been simple to do it. I had so much power flowing through me that almost any act of destruction would have been trivial to enact. Destroying a person is never trivial though.

If they were going to be problems later, then those were problems we’d solve, not through destruction but by the much harder process of creating something new and better.

 New and better was something I was definitely going to need to, since the old me was definitely a bit less embodied than was typically required to be considered ‘alive’.

Perhaps I could be of service? When Sola spoke I could feel how carefully she was whispering but on the divine plane, where most of my senses were hanging out, even those whispers were thunderous.

Uh, yes, please? I said, proud of myself for still retaining the capacity to form ideas at all, much less words!

Let me lift that burden from you then. It was never meant for a mortal to carry. Her voice was gentle but it was impossible to miss her raw might and majesty.

This had been the first god to rise in battle against the End of All Things and she had been the last to fall, and standing in her presence as I had no problem believing that.

Quite willingly therefor I gave my claim over the Holy Tree’s power to her, more than confident that it would neither overwhelm her nor be misused. Sasarai had amplified the power he stolen and grown it exponentially since he founded the Garden and it was still the tiniest spark when compared to the majesty of the unbridled sun.

For my gift, I received a priceless treasure in return – I fell. Down from the divine realm, I plummeted, still burning, always burning from the divinity I’d absorbed, but becoming steadily more solid as wind whipped around me.

You know nothing will be the same again, Draconia said, her voice close and comforting.

That was kind of the point of all this, wasn’t it? I asked. The idea of the world returning to what it had been wasn’t impossible, but it would take the turning of many ages for anyone to be in the position the Neoterics had been.

I mean between us, Draconia said.

Why? I asked. Falling was so blissfully restful that I simply refused to an erg of energy on imagining anything bad.

Because neither of us are the same as we were, Draconia said.

That woke me up a bit. Don’t get me wrong, falling was still a wonderful feeling. No need to expend any effort at all, just happy drifting as I returned home. The idea that I’d broken something in Draconia though managed to send a little jolt through my system. Only a little one since she was still talking to me which meant I hadn’t screwed up too badly, but still I hated the idea that I might have hurt her at all, even if she had been in favor of the plan too.

What did I do? Can I fix it? I asked, opening eyes that I might not have had a moment earlier to see a layer clouds drifting far below me.

This isn’t something that can be fixed. It’s not something that needs to be fixed either.  Draconia said with an oddly playful tone in her voice.

What? I asked, and turned my sense inwards, looking for anything different about the connection between us.

Only to discover that it was missing.

No! What happened! What did I do! 

Panicking while in freefall? Not terribly helpful it turns out. 

Also, not entirely unexpected it seems as I felt warm, scaly arms wrap around me.

You did what none of us could have imagined, Draconia said. We knew the Neoterics had stored our stolen power, we had no idea how much they’d captured though.

But wait, Helgon must have known, why didn’t he warn us of this!

This isn’t something he could have foreseen either, Draconia said and paused before adding, Or maybe he did but didn’t want to get our hopes up.

Our hopes? But this is terrible, where are you?

With you. For as long as you wish me to be, Draconia said, not claiming me as her own but not abandoning me either.

Which for the God of Guardians and Treasures was unusual to say the least.

So why can’t we be what we were? How did I lose your Blessing?

Blessings are limited things, Draconia said and I felt like I was in class with one of my teachers again. They connect the divine with the material, the ephemeral with the solid. They are, by their nature, temporary since mortals must eventually pass away, as is their gift.

Dying doesn’t seem like much of a gift.

If often doesn’t from a mortal perspective, Draconia said and I wasn’t sure if there was sympathy in her voice or if there were things about it that she couldn’t tell me. Maybe both?

But why should that matter? I’m still…

Except I wasn’t.

I’d burned in divinity. What was ‘me’ had been taken apart, cell by cell, thought by thought, until all that remained were my hopes, my memories, and the things I held as dear to me. Even my soul felt a bit singed, and that wasn’t something I was supposed to be able to feel.

Was it?

Wait, what I am? I asked, reaching out with the divine senses Draconia had Blessed me with to search for an answer.

It came, in part, all too quickly.

I hadn’t lost those senses.

But they weren’t Draconia’s anymore.

They were mine.

Not MINE.

Just mine. Just a part of me. 

A divine part of me.

Am I…? I didn’t even want to ask. It felt sacreligious.

Draconia, still able to hear my thoughts it seemed, helped me out.

No. You’re not a god. You’re becoming more solid with even moment, reclaiming the place in the world that you deserve.

You’re welcome, Diyas said as I felt her healing domain knitting back handy things like hands and feet and ears and such. The more the sensations of the world returned the more different they felt though.

I was still falling, and the world beneath me blossomed in detail as I passed through the highest of clouds. I wasn’t afraid though as the ground loomed every closer. I wasn’t going to hit it after all.

Not when I had wings to bear me wherever I wanted to go.

“I’ve been doing some calculations.”

“And in other news, the sky is up. Do these calculations have anything to do with our current topic of discussion Helgon?”

“Of course they do Vaingloth. You know our Helgon is as committed to this scheme as any of us, he is simply using own unique tools to ensure it’s success.”

“Thank you Dyrena, and yes, this is relevant to the grace storage mechanisms we have been speaking about.”

“That was two hours ago Helgon.”

“Was it? Oh, well, it’s a new calculation and I don’t have my proper tools here. Did I miss anything important?”

“Why don’t you share the results your calculations have produced Helgon. I can bring you up to speed on the population exclusion process the others have developed.”

“Oh, of course. Well, a few hours ago apparently now, we were discussing our schemes for collecting and storing the grace which will be cast off when the gods fall, as well as the subsequently generated grace produced by our protectorates.”

“Yes. We all recall the discussion Helgon. Do you have something to relevant to add or did it take you this long to catch up with us?”

“I’m not sure Vaingloth. Did we talk about how any one of us will vaporize the planet if our containment devices fail?”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Oh, Sasarai I hadn’t seen you there. Um, yes, with the amount of grace we’re speaking of, if one of our proposed containment structures fails, there’ll be a tipping point reaction triggered. Unbound grace at that concentration with flood the bindings which hold together other grace bound systems.”

“Everything is bound by grace.”

“Yes, you see the problem the Vaingloth! Living creatures, solid objects, the air itself. There’s grace everywhere. Once the threshold is crossed, each extra spark added will increase the reaction. And it won’t be slow. Perhaps ten milliseconds for complete planetary conversion.”

“Are you sure Helgon? I thought…can I see you’re calculations.”

“Oh course Dyrena. Please check them over. It’s possible I made a mistake somewhere.”

“No it’s not, but I’ll check them over anyways.”

“What does this mean?”

“What it means Sasarai, is that we need to make sure one of our storage systems ever fails someone is there to absorb the overflow before it destroys us all.”

“But that’s impossible.”

“We’re about to do many things which aren’t possible. What’s one more?”

– The High Accessors creating a system which unintentionally provided the mutually assured destruction which should have kept them in check.

I survived. Sorta.

I’d told Sasarai I wanted “my home”, and “my Holy Tree”, and the Garden back. And I did. The longing in my voice for my old life had been dredged up from a real place. 

I hated him, and I hated the life I’d been forced to live, the mask of lies I’d struggled to cram myself into out of the absolutely correct knowledge that to do otherwise would have meant being killed.

But the Garden was what I’d known. It held so many promises, and I’d invested so much of myself in it. 

And I knew there were good people there. Misguided? Tremendously so. Unlikely to appreciate me exposing their beliefs as standing on lies? Unquestionably. But there had been kindness, and there had been laughter too, and I missed bits and pieces of it.

So my lie had been spoken with truths.

I did want those things.

And I had been willing to offer Sasarai the divine fragments in my hoard.

All of them, which, as it happens to be, was one. A fragment of Diyas, God of Healing.

Had Sasarai expected that I still held his hoard? Yes. Who would be mad enough to give up 1/8th of known divine fragments on the planet? 

Better still, had Sasarai expected that I also held the other 7/8ths of the known divine fragments? I’d never claimed that, but I’d certainly led him to believe it, and the other Neoterics explosion of rage on discovering that they’d lost their individual troves had certainly helped foster that misperception.

I hadn’t claimed the divine fragments for myself though. They were mine to protect and mine to deliver. I held them because they needed to be brought to people who could bear their Blessing and, as it turned out, my new friend Little had a whole city full of people with different strength, ideas, and priorities, which was exactly where the divine fragments I’d carried needed to be.

As for the other cities?

For that I had to thank my other new friends. Xalaria was divinely gifted when it came to tactics and planning, at least as far as I knew. Fulgrox’s position as Blessed of the Harvest meant he had contacts everywhere people ate food, which kind of obviously covered all the places I needed help reaching, and Kalkit as the Blessed of Secrets apparently set up little secret societies wherever they went, as an amusement or something I think?

Anyways, between the three of them, all we had to do was give people in each of the other Neoteric’s domains the key to getting into the vaults, a timetable, and a workable plan for coordinating their actions. 

Seven cities. Seven heists. 

Had they all gone off smoothly? Probably not, but, crucially, enough of them worked out somehow that Sasarai had believed me and had seen a fleeting chance to escape being torn apart by his fellow Lords, and the price I’d demanded? It would have galled him, but it was exactly what I should have wanted and so very, very small compared to what he stood to gain.

And so he gave me my home.

And he gave me the Holy Tree.

And they were MINE.

Could have wrenched them back? I don’t know, maybe. If he’d acted the moment I claimed them, it would have been an interesting struggle.

He hesitated for an instant though since nullifying our agreement meant the other Neoterics were going to do to him what he’d done to his own gods.

And so I burned.

Yeah, turns out the Holy Tree had a lot more power bound up in it than any of us had known.

Let us carry this, Draconia said as my skin literally caught fire.

Yes, as the demon says, we are here for you, Umbrielle said and another blessing was layered onto the dragonscales that emerged from under my burning skin.

It was not enough.

The world was lost in pure ecstasy. I wasn’t simply touching divinity or gazing on it. Every cell in my body was filled to bursting with cosmic unity from the first drop of grace that spilled from the Holy Tree.

And there was an ocean left to drink.

Somewhere farther away than the edge of the universe, Sasarai was screaming on the other side of the room.

I could have wondered why, but I didn’t need to. The cosmos was my thoughts, the beat of my heart was gone and it’s place the ringing of the cosmic stings sang.

Greedy Sasarai had taken the one spec of divine sand I’d given him and sought to impose his will on it. Why? I could see into his mind as easily a glass a water. 

If he had control over one divine fragment and the other Neoterics had none he would still reign supreme over them! 

Did he not know of the danger we were all in?

What I had done was cataclysmically ill-advised, to put it mildly. When I failed, and there was no ‘if’ in that, the entire world would be reduced to less than dust.

But, no, he didn’t care. He simply had no capacity to care about anyone except himself. We were nothing more than toys to him. 

It was sad. He should have been better than that.

I would fix it.

With a divine hand I would fix…

Nothing.

Because I didn’t have hands anymore it seemed.

Oh.

Right.

I was in the process of losing everything, even the concept of existing. I wasn’t going to be saving anyone.

Good luck thing we’re here to save you, Diyas said.

The Guardian never seems to consider that she needs protection sometimes too, Polsguls, the God of Small Problems, said.

Their help preserved me as me, at least conceptually, for a moment longer, which I appreciated, but we’d only managed to handle a few drops from the Holy Tree and there was so more, an unfathomable ocean that was flooding into me.

Thank you Draconia, my demon, mine, I said. It was important that she know I was happy she’d come into my life, even if I was going to lose it.

She didn’t answer.

I tried to feel her with me, but I was pretty far past the point of feeling anything.

Were the god fragments burning in the Holy Tree’s power? It was too much for me, and it was probably too much for them. I couldn’t tell, I was dissolving into the “all knowing divine” but losing too much of the ‘I’ in that for there to be a ‘me’ who could know anything.

Don’t lose hope, Umbrielle said. You haven’t been abandoned.

But I couldn’t feel anything.

And then I couldn’t hear anything.

It was too much.

Not more than I could bear, more than anything could bear.

The Holy Tree wasn’t heaven.

It was a hell of inescapable power, gathered far beyond any worldly need until it rotted and could only be turned to destruction and madness.

I’d thought the time had come to cast down the tyrant who ruled my little part of the world, but that time had been so long ago. 

What Sasarai, what all of them, had created was a malignancy and it had done nothing but grow and grow worse the longer they reigned.

I feel under the weight of it.

It was too much.

I couldn’t.

How many had died when the sun fell.

I couldn’t restore them.

How many had died because they made the mistake of being who they were?

I couldn’t lift them back up.

How many had withered and become horrible when they should have been joyous and wonderful?

I couldn’t renew them.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t.

But there were things I could do.

The Holy Tree was mine.

MINE.

It’s power was MY power.

I couldn’t shape it.

I couldn’t control it.

And I absolutely couldn’t contain it.

But I could share it.

So long as there was a ‘me’, burning, dissolving, lit in every cell by cosmic destruction, but still ‘me’, then the Holy Tree was MINE and, as MY TREE, I was the channel through which its power would pass into the world.

Not as a flood to destroy everything.

Not while the world was MINE to guard and treasure.

I think she’s still there! The voice was unfamiliar but unbearably welcome to here.

Of course she is! We’re still here aren’t we? Another unfamiliar voice.

Then let’s lighten that load a bit shall we? I’d never met the God of Strength, or their new Blessed.

I hadn’t met any of the thousand other Blessed who’d discovered their gods in the last five seconds either, but Oh Sweet Draconia was I glad to hear anything at all and their chorus most especially. 

Together they…sang? Was there another word for what they were doing? For people coming together because they believed in helping not themselves, but the world who needed them? 

Even with a thousand voices, I didn’t know if we could withstand the force of the Holy Tree’s power but they weren’t giving up, so neither was I.

And that let a thousand more join us.

Again and again, as the divine fragments found their Blessed hosts, those people chose to turn from their lives to save others, to save the ones without power, the ones who needed them most.

It wasn’t easy reaching across the world like that, Draconia, wonderful Draconia, said. But as you claimed. This is OUR world.

And I could see again.

Our world.

Garbed in a beautiful dress of darkness and stars with so many voices and so much life still.

Even the broken bits, the fallen and shattered spirits, even the fragments of the beast, lurking their lost corners, all of it, OURS.

Is this how you always saw the world?

No. Only through your eyes has the world ever looked like this.

“Do you imagine we will experience the same ebbs and flows of the grace which the gods currently contend with?”

“That seems likely Helgon. Why do you ask?”

“Sasarai mentioned something about how the naturalistic patterns he’s planning to use for his ‘Divine Tree’ will be especially adapted to such changes. I’m considering if that is something we should suggest the others adopt as well? I know you’ve been working on a similar storage issues though Dyrena and I didn’t want to step on your toes as it were.”

“This is very considerate of you Helgon, but in this case my toes are quite safe. Sasarai’s assertion is only arguably correct. His storage mechanism assumes there will be regular cyclical changes in grace, because he’s most familiar with natural processes which follow various seasonal or day/night cycles. My projections show that while the Neoterics are likely to experience variable levels of grace generation, the variations will be on an irregular schedule.”

“Have you shared this with Sasarai?”

“Not as yet.”

“Is this the sort of thing he doesn’t need know?”

“Quite possibly. The other Neoterics seem to be designing fairly idiosyncratic systems for collecting their power. Each will have unique pitfalls, but the diversity may prove to be useful.”

“That would be humorous would it not?”

“Given the impact on the planet’s diversity our scheme will have?”

“And it’s divine diversity. Replacing the myriad of deities we can call on now with twelve gods who will answer no ones pleas but who are in turn dependent on the meager diversity they can muster suggests some form of cosmic justice lurks in the future.”

“Would that I could believe in justice, cosmic, divine, or otherwise.”

“But of course the world has justice in it.”

“And where would I look for this justice?”

“I would suggest a mirror, after all are you not part of the world?”

– Helgon and Dyrena planting seeds together.

The expression I wore was one of abject confusion and horror. Certainly I had done well? I was deserving of praise wasn’t I? I had executed my master’s plans and delivered to him the resources from “every other” Neoteric in the world. It was the opening and closing shot of a war that could never be allowed to start and was entirely unavoidable.

The horror was a reflection of Sasarai’s own.

After all I had just revealed “our” treachery in a space that was imperfectly cloaked.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. It was a good cloak. I should have had every reason to believe that it would keep our words private.

And Sasarai had confirmed that we were in a location where it was safe to speak.

So the other Neoterics just couldn’t be watching us and hearing literally every word I spoke? Right?

I am not the Blessed of Acting, I’m not even sure if any fragments of the God of Acting remain. If they do though, I was their avatar in that moment based on how very hard I fought to keep a manic grin from shattering the mask I was wearing.

“No…no…what have you done?” Sasarai asked.

I hated giving him any credit, but he hadn’t gotten where he was by being a complete idiot. He understood exactly what I was really saying there. 

If I telling the truth, then every other Neoteric was going to have to strike immediately before he had a chance to consolidate the power the divine fragments offered him. If I was telling the truth, I’d tipped the balance of power off the edge of cliff and we were all caught in a moment terrible free fall.

Of course I could have been lying too. He new the claim I was making was a partial lie. He knew I wasn’t an agent working in his name. He knew I hadn’t discovered the secret to raiding the vaults the Neoterics used. He absolutely knew I wasn’t going to give him power over everything and everyone.

With all of those, I had to be lying. Playing for time. Trying to goad the other Neoterics into attacking him before he could regain the divine fragments I’d taken from him.

And that would have been a great idea! In fact it was close to what my original idea had been. There was only one tiny thing wrong with it, one itty bitty detail that Sasarai had gotten wrong.

I did know how to break into the vaults.

And I wasn’t alone.

Not anymore.

“Oh….oh no!” I said, letting the color drain from my face. “Are we not…can they hear us?”

Sasarai looked at me is stark disbelief, because of course the other Neoterics were listening to our every word.

Or they had been. It was hard to imagine that they weren’t teleporting to their vaults or something similar to discover if my claim was correct.

A tremor shook the ground and I felt several blasts of rage rip across the surface of the world.

Someone had noticed that I wasn’t lying. A lot of someone’s it sounded like.

“We need to hide!” I said, calling a divine fragment to my hands, my very best panic coating my words in pure poison as the true cloak of Night descended on us.

That was the last bit of theater I needed to perform. Either the other Neoterics believed my show or they were too distracted by the loss of their access to godly domains, in either case I had nothing more to sell them on.

“I will kill you. I will kill this world!” Sasarai began to grow, manifesting more of his power as he prepared a spell that would do something unutterable to both myself and Draconia.

It wasn’t an unreasonable response.

I had pretty much just killed him, and if he was going to die why would someone like him think the world had any reason to exist without him?

“You could do that,” I said, dropping the subservient act with the greatest of relief, “but why would you want to when there was so much to bargain for?”

“BaRgAin?” Sasarai’s voice had turned so inhuman he was barely able to produce a single word but he managed to croak it out the right one in time.

“I have something you want, now more than ever I would think,” I said, as calm as a frozen pond. 

I’d thought I was going to be terrified at this moment, and I’d been right. What I hadn’t known was that past a certain point, fear falls away. Sasarai was absolutely capable of destroying me. He was capable of smashing Draconia into small enough pieces that she would never pose a threat to him again (and not be terribly useful but rational thoughts like that were definitely unlikely in the face of what I’d done). 

I could feel his power surrounding me, bearing down with enough weight that my bones would have shattered if they weren’t protected by dragon scales and all of Draconia’s good will.

I knew I wouldn’t survive and I didn’t care. I didn’t want to die, but I had to do this, for the world, for the people I cared about, and most of all, for myself.

I showed Sasarai the divine fragment I’d called forth. It wasn’t one of Night’s – the true cloak that shielded us from the other Neoterics for a moment was a gift from Meluna, where the limited one had been Theia’s doing. Instead I held a fragment of Diyas, the God of Healing, but not the one which had been Sasarai’s stolen originally.

I had all of a split second to wonder if Sasarai could tell that before he swiped it from my hand and began to try to make use of it.

Which was rude.

And also something I wasn’t about to let happen until he made the deal I wanted.

With a snap of my fingers, it disappeared from his grasp though – what was mine was mine – settling back into my hoard where it belonged.

“Not so fast. You have something I want.” This part I wasn’t at all sure of, but in a sense it didn’t matter either. I’d either get what I really wanted or I wouldn’t leave the temple I was standing and either way, Sasarai was beaten.

“What.” With a glimmer of hope luring him onwards, Sasarai returned to a more restrained form, though none of his power had dissipated.

“I’ve seen the world outside the Garden now. You lied to us about a lot of things, but you weren’t kidding at how awful it is out there. The things that walk in the wasteland are going to give me nightmares for years, and I know you, but the other Neoterics could be anything. If I have to take my chances with one of you, at least I know how to work with you.”

“What do you want?” If there was a god dedicated to annihilating patience, Sasarai would have been their Blessed in that moment.

“I want my home back. I want my Holy Tree. I want to be able to go the Garden again. I hated my life in there, but if I can be who I am now, I can’t think of a place that would be safer to be.” I said, uttering not a single lie in the process. “Especially if you were the only Neoteric to have any of the divine fragments. I’m not asking you to shower me with honors, but I am willing to give you the divine fragments in my hoard – the ones that will be too dispersed for any of you to find if you kill me – in exchange for what I asked for.”

None of that was a lie.

Not directly.

Only by omission.

“They will not allow this,” Sasarai said.

“Does it matter what they allow at this point?” I asked, conjuring Diyas’ divine fragment to my hand again.

“No,” Sasarai said, taking the fragment from me delicately. “No, it does not.”

“We have accord then?”

“For you alone. Let your penance be that you shall never again see the family you cared so much about that you could steal them from me as well.”

“I understand,” I said, and I did.

I’d just won.

“I will have your hoard then,” Sasarai said, new confidence dispelling the terror which had gripped him.

“And I will have what is MINE,” I said.

Sasarai’s confidence blinded him for the instant it took before the light that erupted from me did the job far more thoroughly.

“Your hoard!?” he objected, unable to conceive of what had happened.

“YOU ARE HOLDING IT.” Could I say it was my voice that spoke? I don’t know. There was FAR too much divine power suffusing my being, more than my soul could ever have held even if I’d become a True Immortal, unlike the pitiful little wretches that called themselves the Lord of the world.

As it was, claiming the Holy Tree Mazana as my own turned out to be both the best and worst idea I’d ever had.

On the plus side, Sasarai had totally missed the opening I’d asked for and agreeing to our deal had let end the last threat he’d posed everyone else. On the minus side, hundreds of years of accumulated grace from a city full of absolutely devout believers, augmented by every technique Sasarai had been able to employ was enough to melt me body and soul and there was literally nothing I could do to prevent that.

I was not the Holy Tree and without it’s incredibly specific and purpose built structure, the grace I’d claimed as mine was sufficient to blast not only me from the face of the world but also a fair portion of the world as well.

I hadn’t counted on that.

I’d never understood exactly how vast the gods had been.

This is more than you. This is more than even I. Draconia’s voice was lost in a rush of joyous power as things within me I’d never understood burned. 

As you say though, you are not alone.