“Insikir are you certain of the results you published last month?”

“Certain enough to publish them Helgon, why do you ask?”

“They suggest that our entire endeavor will prove to be impossible.”

“Did you not read the entire publication? And even if you didn’t,  I believe I made a clear case in the precis arguing the opposite of your conclusion, assuming the subject matter was beyond you?”

“No, no, I read the precis, I read the paper too. Rather a lot of philosophy in there don’t you think? No, what I’m referring to is the calculations you used as the supporting evidence and the conclusions you drew from them.”

“The calculations were smartly done, and they’ve been double checked as well, by Dyrena in fact! If you have issues with them, or believe you have spotted an error, may I suggest you have her explain your mistake to you.”

“Well, you see, I have spoken to her. Which is why I am concerned.”

“You think she made a mistake? Truly Helgon is that what you believe?”

“Not at all. I believe you did though.”

“I will hear no more of this! The calculations were flawless, I know my discipline better than you ever shall!”

“I am certain you do. I am also, however, certain that you may be somewhat lacking in the fundamentals of biological processes and protocols.”

“What? What has biology to do with the grace-to-aether ratios for reality fractures?”

“Quite a lot it seems. You see here you predicate the success of our endeavor on the notion that we will only need to create a reality fracture on the submolecular level and that generating the required aether to do so is well within the boundaries of the grace which we are in the process of accumulating.”

“I know what my conclusions were Helgon.”

“The key point is the hypothesis that we need to ensure that the Predator creature which we plan to attract will be capable of widening the breech without our help.”

“Yes. Appendix C explains that. By utilizing a submolecular rift, we can ensure that only a Predator of sufficient ambition and puissance to devour the gods will be capable of passing through. Lesser entities will lack the interest or capacity to widen the breech.”

“I agree. Everything you wrote there is sound, and the calculations are correct in and of themselves. You have simply missed one critical fact.”

“One which you, in your infinite biological wisdom, somehow observed?”

“Oh, not at all. It was Sasarai who found this. I simply confirmed it.”

“Sasarai? Sasarai noticed a problem in my work? Are you serious? What did you confirm?”

“Life, even if it is not as we know it, has the hallmark that it propagates. Your calculations show that a sufficiently powerful entity will be able to breech into our reality. What they do not address is what will happen if that entity is breeching into this reality not for itself but for its offspring. You presume that the entity will also serve to keep other entities out, and the arguments you make are persuasive, unless those other entities are its own young.”

– High Accessor Helgon convincing High Accessor Insikir that they needed a rift which was both much larger than they’d originally planned and far more temporary.

The Neoterics weren’t exactly leaving me alone. Determining how to destroy the Beast Fragments had become something of a ‘group project’ with annoying daily check-ins. 

To their credit, they hadn’t attained the other Neoterics present state without a significant amount of personal acumen (unlike the reports we’d read of the wealthy and powerful of the pre-Sunfall world) so their contributions of the project weren’t entirely useless.

‘Not entirely useless’ was not the same thing as helpful however. 

“You could tell Sasarai to collect ‘beastial stool samples’ himself,” Responsibility said. She was draped across one of the couches I’d conjured for our House in the Wastelands. Clarity was occupying the other end of the couch, her lap full with Responsibilities legs and feet as she read through a book Insikir had sent over.

Following the ‘Not-So-Great Council’ of the remaining Neoterics, I’d popped back to my house to bring the two of them up to speed. Several of the other Neoterics had objected to my continued cloaking of the house, but it had been easy enough to explain it’s necessity since if any of the Beast Fragments did stumble across me before I discovered how to destroy them, things would not end well for anyone. 

Then we’d spent a few weeks pretending to work on a problem which had defied their comprehension for centuries.

Vitor, interestingly, had not been among those opposed to my return to the Wastelands. It was possible that he simply knew fighting against Malgenia’s whims was a losing cause, but he also had to know that I hadn’t performed the Assumption ritual yet and he hadn’t brought that up either (probably because I wasn’t showing any signs of being overwhelmed by Malgenia’s power, since I was doing fine with it).

Malgenia had trusted her brother, not just because they were twins, but because she knew she could see through his schemes and stratagems well before they came to fruition. In my case however, I hadn’t spent my whole childhood with him. I knew him as a figure of terrible awe and majesty, flawlessly perfect in ever physical detail and casually cruel except to Malgenia’s Deaths who were beyond his reach. From Malgenia’s memories, I’d discovered another side to him though. The awkward child who bloomed into a prodigy of any physical challenge he was tested against. The cocksure young man more interested in the rewards his talents could bring him than honing them at all. And finally, the man alive with the fire of ambition, pushing his talents to their utmost to ensure the success of their plans to overthrow the gods themselves.

Malgenia saw all his fallings and foibles. She knew which buttons to push to get what she wanted and which ones to push to entertain herself. All that I knew was that he had depths and desires he’d never shared with her, but seeing past his facade was not something I felt certain I could manage. The glimpses I perceived which seemed to be his ‘true self’ could easily have been simply another layer of subterfuge.

“Poop,” Beauty said. “Tell Sasarai to go pick up the poop himself. Make it sound childish.”

“And we want to antagonize the Neoteric Lord of the Garden why exactly?” Clarity asked.

“Because he knows there isn’t any,” Reason said.

“He wants ‘Malgenia’ to search for it so that she’ll get too close to one of the fragments,” Responsibility said. “It’s his idea of a clever plan to make her the fifth Neoteric to fall.”

“He had an interesting point,” Inhibition said and kept reading as most of the rest of the room stared at her in shock.

“She means the genesis of Sasarai’s idea is that Vaingloth fell a Beast Fragment and his stored grace didn’t erase the world,” Clarity said, with a nod to Inhibition who nodded back in agreement.

“Something to keep in mind should we actually figure out how to control the Beast Fragments,” Reason said.

“Something everyone is keeping in mind,” I said. “Which is why any research we do there needs to be clearly focused on their destruction. The moment any of the Neoterics think that control is an option, a silent war will start.”

The silent war started centuries ago, Diyas said. You are correct that it will go loud the moment any of the Neoterics gets proof that the Beast Fragments can be weaponized.

“Including if that Neoteric is our own,” Beauty said.

“I’d considered that but would we really want to launch an attack we couldn’t foresee the outcome of?” I asked. “That seems like the mistake they made during the Sunfall, and I’m not eager to repeat it.”

“Plus, is it at all a good idea to saddle you with any more power?” Inhibition asked.

“That wouldn’t be a problem. I’ve still got Malgenia’s grace well under control, we don’t need to rush any of our plans to account for problems with that,” I said, ignoring the luminous glow fighting to escape from my soul. Godhood could fight all it wanted, I did not have time for it to be a problem so it wasn’t going to be one. Simple as that.

“I can tell you that this book doesn’t have anything to suggest that killing one of the Beasts is possibly,” Responsibility said, shaking the book she was holding. “The closest it gets is pure speculation on how ‘Aetheric manifolds might coalesce if the fundamental constants of the world varied’, from what they used to be of course. It doesn’t have anything on what they might be now.”

“That one came recommended strongly by Insikir too,” Reason said, frowning in the frustration we all felt.

“There’s supposed to be a companion volume that it illuminates,” Responsibility said. “Apparently they were rare though so the note with this book said ‘hope you still have a copy of the other one’.

“And of course we don’t?” Inhibition asked.

“I checked Malgenia’s personal study and I asked Vitor to check his, but neither one of them held onto the book Insikir referenced. According to Vitor it was ‘hundreds of pages of wild speculation wrapped around three or four solid thesis, most of which could be found in other volumes,” I said.

“And Insikir doesn’t have a copy either?” Clarity asked.

“He said he lent his out decades ago and never got it back,” Responsibility said.

“Seems like time to ask for it to be returned,” Beauty said.

“One problem with that,” Responsibility said. “You can’t ask for things from dead people. He lent it out to Helgon a few years before they blew Helgon up.”

“Technically he blew himself up,” I said, reviewing the bit of memory Malgenia had left of the incident. “They’d caught him outside his sanctum, but he didn’t give them the satisfaction of killing him. Also didn’t give them the satisfaction of absorbing the grace he’d hoarded.”

“How was that possible?” Responsibility asked.

“Malgenia had no idea but laughed herself silly for a few days over it,” I said. “Their theory was that he’d imbued it all into the traps and such that he left around the Factorum, but none of them could sense much there. The parties that they sent in to verify that never came back and so they all chalked it up as confirmation and not worth the effort to scrounge the grace that wouldn’t blow up when they tried to steal it.”

That does leave open the question of whether we even want to try to discover how to control the Beast Fragments? It would be supremely poetic justice, but Little’s example doesn’t seem to point to it being a replicable feat, Diyas said.

“Isn’t wasting time more-or-less what we’re going for though?” Inhibition asked. “We’re still not any closer to discovering how to perform the modified Assumption Ritual. The more time we can invest there the better shape Insight will be in for whatever conflict eventually arises.”

“Worst case, she can do the usual ritual with me,” Responsibility said. “It’ll just mean I get to hang out with Beauty and Inhibition and Reason right?”

“No. Worse case I toss myself into the same Beast Fragment that Vaingloth did. I’m not subjecting you to this for any reason,” I said.

“There’s no guarantee you’d become like us either,” Beauty said. “You could be one of the Sleepers, and trust me when I say it is not pleasant making that transition.”

“Neither of you are destroying yourselves,” Clarity said. “There are other answers and you will find them.”

“Yes ma’am,” Responsibility said placing her fist over her heart.

Neither one of us had technically told Clarity we were desperately in love with her, but some things were obvious even if they weren’t captured by words. Oddly, the old jealousy I’d always felt when Responsibility scored points with Clarity was entirely absent. How could I be jealous of Clarity loving Responsibility? Responsibility was gorgeous and deserving of all the love in the world, even Clarity’s. 

It was good that they had each other in case I had to…

Had to what? 

I stopped that thought right in its tracks.

Like hell was I about to start preparing for my own demise.

I had fought harder than I’d ever imagined possible for my existence and allowing myself to pass on would be a direct insult to Diyas and as much as I loved my girls, my god had a pretty solid claim on my heart too. 

Clarity was right. There were other answers and we were going to find them.

Best of all I knew where to look.

“I think we may need some help,” I said. “In fact I think we need as much help as we can get and I know two places we can find it. Unfortunately I can’t go to either one.”

“Because the other Neoterics are watching you constantly,” Clarity said.

“But they’re not watching us,” Responsibility said.

“I haven’t wanted to even think about this because I hate the very idea of exposing you to the kind of danger being outside the house entails, but you can move about without attracting the kind of attention I can.”

“Where do you need us to go?” Responsibility asked.

“I call dibs on talking with Helgon,” Clarity said. “You can have Mt Gloria.”

I looked at my Deaths and felt a wave of pride and inspiration wash over me. They were so brave, and so beautiful. All I could imagine was what it would be like to spend eternity with them.

Which, as it turns out, was precisely the sort of daydream I should not have conjured for myself.