“Hey Insight, did Clarity say when she was going to be back today?”

“She and Responsibility were talking the 3rd Years out to the new Slinktail refuge.”

“So they could be there somewhere between an hour and a week then?”

“In this case it was more like 30 minutes.”

“Oh hi there Responsibility!”

“Hey Beauty.”

“What happened?” 

“You, and it kills me to admit this, as you well know Insight, were right.”

“What was that? I’m sorry, you know how these old ears are. I think I need to hear that again.”

“Shut up. Your 30th namesday isn’t till next week. And I’m older anyways.”

“To be fair to our dear Insight, as she predicted, the groundskeepers were behind schedule.”

“Oh that sucks Clarity. Did the kids at least get to see any of the baby Slinktails?”

“Sadly no.”

“I thought they told you the enclosures were all completed though?”

“And they were not lying Reason. Unfortunately, they neglected to mention that stocking the enclosures with the trees the Slinktails need for comfort and safety was still ‘a work in progress’.”

“So what did you two do with the 3rd years?”

“Jilya.”

“Oh that’s just mean.”

“I’d say that was a good call Insight.”

“Jilya’s been up to her wingtips in plant revivals. How did she possibly have time for an entire class of 3rd years?”

“Oh, that was easy. She turned them into her private army of seed gatherers and sorters.”

“Okay, that is clever, points to her there!”

“I thought so too Inhibition. She told them if any of them found a new species, they’d get to coin it’s common name.”

“So we are going to have a dozen variations on ‘Pretty Sparkle Rose’ and/or ‘Stinky Butt Weed’?”

“That is the allure but I suspect she’ll get them to take it a little more seriously.”

“How long is she planning to employ the volunteer army you dropped on her doorstep?”

“Like you said, she’s pretty swamped, so she’ll probably need them for at least a week.”

“In which time the Slinktail habitat can actually be completed?”

“That’s the hope. Whether the groundskeepers can actually manage it or not remains to be seen.”

“I would say we could ask for help on that, but all the help we know is part of one or another of Jilya’s other harvest armies.”

“We could offer to help out ourselves I suppose?”

“Reason, my dearest love, are you feeling well? Have you sustained a head injury you’ve been hiding from us? Or perhaps an extreme fever has boiled your blood?”

“What? I like Slinktails. They’re cute, especially the babies!”

“We know they are but I believe what Beauty is pointing out is that with the 3rd years away for a week, and the second years still the under the tutelage of Mercy, Thrift, and Harmony, we find ourselves with a rare week of vacation we can turn to whatever ends we wish.”

“That was rather the plan, though credit goes to Clarity for coming up with it.”

“You were the one who pointed out that the children needed something to make up for the disappointment of missing the animal encounter they’d been looking forward to.”

“Well whatever shall we do with a week where there’s no one around to interrupt us?”

“It seems that Insight is already found the answer.”

“Round robin card tournament?”

“Round robin card tournament!”

“Oh! Can we get in on that too?”

“When have we ever turned down a chance to demolish a god, Diyas?”

“It seems somewhat less than likely that you will be victorious this time, Beauty.”

“And why is that Umbrielle?”

“Because we have been practicing.”

“Have you now Draconia? Well let’s just see how well you can defend the hoard you start with, I seem to recall splitting most of it with Responsibility last time.”

“Yes, but who was the overall winner last time?”
{chorus} “You were Sola”.

– Insight being setup for a week long 30th Namesday celebration by both her mortal and divine friends.

I was not drunk. I do not get drunk. Alcohol is just a toxin and toxins are things that mortals have to deal with.

“We’re still a bit mortal,” Little said, a tiny bit tipsy. Which was not the same as being drunk, as I knew from personal experience.

“A little bit?” Jilya teased, which earned her a groan from our Ratkin friend.

“It’s lucky that we are,” I said gazing out at the star strewn sky that has not gotten boring to look at in the dozen or so year since it came back. “Can you imagine how things would have gone if any of us weren’t?”

“Vaingloth would have taken me seriously from minute one if he’d known what I was going to become,” Little said.

“Sasarai would have buried my body parts under a hundred different roots and had ‘Holy Mazana’ feed on me for eternity if he’d caught me when I was an unknowing Blessed,” Jilya said reclining on the oversized beanbag we’d provided for her since she was a bit out-sized for our normal furniture.

“How about you Insight? Malgenia would have turned you into one of her art pieces right?” Little asked, without looking at me. She could sense me just fine but her lost vision was well and truly gone from everything we could tell. Even the Great Beast’s restorative release of the divine energy and domains it had collected had not returned the sight to her void darkened eyes.

Somethings when lost are simply lost, and we move on with only their memories as a part of us.

“I don’t think so,” I said, imagining how Malgenia might have thought for the first time in years.

She’s been my everything, my god, my world, my hopes and dreams, right up until the time moment I’d understood who she really was.

There were still parts of my personality that showed the damage I’d taken growing up as a unwitting sacrificial offering, but there were plenty of days now where those parts didn’t come up, or where the choices I’d made since then mattered far more. I hard a hard time believing it some days but, by tiny increments, I was recovering from who I’d been.

“Malgenia simultaneously paid us no mind at all and was disturbingly fascinated by us,” I said. “I think she was looking for someone she could understand, or maybe someone who could understand her. Despite being her twin, Vitor was never that for her. He was a chew toy at best  and a pliable obstacle at worst. I think if she knew what I was going to become, she would have done exactly what she did to me.”

“The Assumption Ritual?” Jilya asked, echoes of her own traumatic upbringing singing around the question.

“Yeah. Her version was going to destroy one or the other of us, and I’ve always wondered if she really cared which of us lost? She certainly fought harder than I’d ever imagined anyone could, and I did have divine backup there, but ‘as hard as I can imagine’ is a lot less than she was really capable of. The other Neoterics were terrified of her and they were right to be.”

“And you lived with her memories in your head for years?” Little asked.

“It turned out to be more than her memories. To win the Assumption Ritual, I had to tear her to shreds. At the end, there wasn’t anything left of her to oppose me taking her power and her life. As it turned out though that didn’t quite mean there wasn’t anything left of her.”

“I remember you saying you saw her again in your version of the Assumption Ritual?” Jilya said. I had recounted the events of the End of the World several times over the years, and my wives had been there too, but it wasn’t something people tended to ask us a lot of questions about. Or not a lot of questions I had the words to answer with.

How do you say ‘I was a god, but not a god, and I met my dearest mother-love, who was not and never could be my Mom, and was also a god and not a god and something so much more, but just a shadow too, who I adored, for whom I felt overpowering revulsion and rage, who wanted to destroy me absolutely, who I had already crushed as thoroughly as I could, who, maybe, kinda, sorta, was proud of me, who I could never forgive, but who I offered the deepest, most sincere peace I’ve ever wished on anyone?

“I did. She was the last of the Neoterics to fall in sense. She’d been holding all of them back by refusing to let death, as a concept, be eradicated, and she was the one who took out her brother,” I said, trying to let the confusing jumble of the experience peek through in my words.

“Sounds like it was a difficult struggle with her in the ritual both times,” Little said.

“The first time it was a struggle to keep her from killing me, the second time the struggle was getting her to accept that I was alive,” I said, knowing that wouldn’t make sense but winding up surprised when they both nodded in understanding.

“We had to move past them,” Jilya said.

“We still do,” Little added. “Though I’d say we’ve made pretty good progress so far.”

“Twelve years in the sun,” Jilya said with a nod towards Little offering an indirect compliment to Sola.. 

Our gods were away on their own business. After partying with us for days leading up to my nameday, everyone had plenty of things that had piled up that they needed to take care of. Everyone except the three of us, whom the rest had conspired to arrange some much needed quiet time for.

“Twelve years building a future we never could have had,” Little said and this wistfulness in voice echoed everywhere inside me.

“I didn’t think I’d make it this far,” I admitted. “As a kid, we were taught to hope and pray for the Assumption Ritual. Malgenia usually picked 16 year olds for it. Sometimes older, but the Deaths that made it to their mid-20s were considered too old to ever be picked. It wasn’t uncommon for them to be ‘repurposed’, and I’d always thought that was going to be my lot. Responsibility would beat me in some test and she’d get to take her place as one of Malgenia’s demigods and I’d be left behind until they could fine some other purpose for me.”

“And instead you made your own purpose,” Little said.

“And made your peace with with Responsibility at some point?” Jilya asked.

“We do peace sometimes. We’re still brats to each other too. I think that’s part of the fun really,” I said, already plotting how I was going to get my wives back for springing a week-long surprise party on me. Granted I’d done the same to Responsibility but turnabout on a turnabout was the hallmark of our relationship.

“I envy that you have time to annoy each other. Theia and I are so busy that if we get one date night a month is a cause for extreme celebration,” Jilya said.

“You could always just tell people you can’t help them today, you’ve got a hot cat woman who needs you?” I suggested.

“Believe me that’s been tempting, but I’m not the only busy one and I learned early on that trying to hoard a Catkin is a recipe for a terrible weekend. If I’m patient though, mine at least comes back to me, which is all I can really ask for,” Jilya said.

“For as entertaining as it is to listen to the dramatics you two get up to, I have to say that I couldn’t be more glad that none of that is for me,” Little said.

“You’ve got plenty of your own drama,” Jilya said. “Isn’t Lucky getting married next month?”

“Yep, and that’s her insanity, I’d just acting as the celebrant,” Little said.

“Aren’t you learning Ancient Bugbear to perform the ceremony in a ‘historically accurate’ fashion?” I asked.

“And can your throat muscles actually produce proper Ancient Bugbear syllables?” Jilya asked.

“Mostly. Somewhat. I’m working on it. I mean that’s what you do for your crew right?” Little’s objection was as proud and defiant as it was amusingly missing the point.

“That’s what you do for people you love,” I said.

“Whatever you can do, whatever they need,” Jilya said.

Over us a star winked brightly in divine agreement.

That was the world we were building.

It would be the effort of the rest of our lives, even as long though they looked to be, and probably many lifetimes beyond that.

A world built not on amassing cataclysmic amount of power, but on doing what we could for each other. Making life worth living, guarding the things that mattered from slipping away, and shining as brightly as we could so others would be able to follow in our footsteps.